The soul bellows inside its human encasing,
Writhing in agony at the decisions of the heart and the mind,
The soul used to watch as the heart and the mind battled it out over their false notions of love,
Leaving the heart sad and the mind to grow wiser.
The soul has even seen the heart begin to shatter, and still it lay dormant and only whispered,
"This is not the one to be hurt over."
And still the heart shattered, knowing the souls truth.
This time,
The heart is keeping quiet- afraid to speak up,
The mind is thinking
Making the decisions as the heart helplessly agrees,
The soul chimes in where it never does, wailing
Causing a new confusion,
Bellowing in agony deep inside its human thoracic cavity,
Trying to convince the mind and heart not to be so blind, not to give up that this is who they're waiting for.
The bellowing is so deep,
So raw,
So loud,
The soul can't understand why no one hears its pleas.
The soul wants to be ripped out of its human prison to race to its home.
The mind and the heart sit in a wallowing coldness,
Listening to the souls pleas,
Unable to mute the cries.

A writers mind is like a black hole.
Dark,
Twisted,
Gruesome,
Swirling with chaos and doubt,
We fight for our daily lives-
But corner it for our art.
It's filled with emotion, pain, and thoughts others won't dare express.
Every indiscretion tackles the mind,
Haunts and hides in the deepest crevices of our brains-
Waiting and lingering to sneak up on us
To inspire us or destroy us,
Threatening that black hole to swallow us whole.

She walked to the cliff's edge-
Crumbled to her knees.
She looked up to the moon,
With tears in her eyes-
She sucked in a sharp breath of cold air as she pleaded to the stars.

The world was in ruins.
Chaos all around.
Yet, she smiled and danced in the rain,
Like she used to-
As if the world has given her one last blissful day.

I need to stop being a bleeding heart-
A bleeding heart has never saved anyone-
..Only killed them.

Numbness is meant to mask everything
I wear mine as a shield.
I conquer my numbness with a smile,
With every slap to the face
I just stand up and smirk at the monsters in their face.
They try to break me,
Every monstrous thought-
Pulls painful breaths from me,
I shake my head and redirect my brain.
Still-
They linger on,
Taunting,
Twirling,
Trying to shatter me.
Finding painful tears,
I swallow those and force a smile.
What these monsters haven't learned is,
I've been hollowed out-
There's nothing left to break,
All the light left in my heart has been obliterated,
Turned to dust.
I've become numb and I rule the darkness.
So, I say to these monsters,
Bring it on,
Try to find something to break,
You're going to lose.

That limbo before you fall asleep-
But you're not quite awake,
Where you cease to exist for a moment,
Before you slip into the subconscious reality of your mind,
Yet, there's a deafening silence of the outside world around you,
You feel nothing,
You hear nothing,
You see nothing,
Dreams have not come yet
But consciousness slips you,
That's where I was when the phone rang,
For a moment I ceased to exist.

I drown myself in the words that others have written-
I let every sentence and syllable paint its picture.
I let the world that doesn't exist run through my mind like a movie,
Learning the characters,
Rooting for them,
Hoping it ends well for them.
Accepting every truth that the authors hide in their false worlds.

My heart was already broken-
Shattered to pieces.
It's been sewn back together with the finest thread,
Unable to break again.
All that will happen is the thread comes undone
Letting the broken pieces cascade down to their dormant seats.
My heart was already broken
Which means, you cannot break me
Only untangle me.

The pain subsided.
The memories no longer invade like an unwavering assault on the mind.
The taste of your name is no longer sweet in my mouth,
But rather something foul that should not be spoken.
Hind sight was gained.
It made me see all the things that I had missed,
All the warning signs suggesting danger ahead,
All this pain could've been avoided if I paid closer attention,
If only I had read your actions over the words you spewed,
I could have started my life with my future wife sooner-
But, it had to happen like that.
It had to happen the way it did,
She and I weren't ready then,
She and I watched, learned, and grew together like and undeniable force-
All the while I still tried to make this work with you,
You are what had to destroy me to bring her to me.
The pain finally subsided-
The destruction caused was meant to happen,
So she and I could pave a path,
A path that has so much promise for a life of happiness.

Home-
Home is where you go to at the end of a long day.
Home is where you feel the safest.
Home is where you're free to share and express who you really are on the inside.
Home is where you find your sanity in this crazy world.
Home is where you bare your soul.
My home is not a house.
My house is just a shelter.
My home is a person.
A person that when I look at her, I feel like I'm home and that person is specifically for me.
A person who makes me feel so calm, happy and loved on a daily basis.
My home is in your arms.
My home is in your heart.
It is you-
You are my home.

Promises, promises-
We all make them.
We all mean them.
We all break them.

You

As I lay here in bed I'm thinking of all the wonderful things.
I'm thinking about the love and laughter,
The affection and conversations,
All of the glances and stolen kisses.
The warmth of your touch,
The smile you share everytime our eyes meet.
The promise of tomorrow and everyday there after.
As I lay here in bed I'm thinking of how I have no worries
The pure contentment felt that is undeniably exquisite
All the time spent together is not time wasted
It is time spent by lovers, two friends yearning for endless days and endless nights
As I lay here in bed I'm thinking of all the wonderful things
The wonderful spirit that is you.