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This is one of my new favorites. It made me laugh. That senseless dream was of dinosuars. I think I was being hunted by a T-Rex.

Just know when you're dead asleep in the night,
Having a senseless dream of a land of make believe
When you wake up with that sharp pain in your stomach,
Pain that let's you know to trust your gut,
Just know it's becuase...

You ate too many cookies.

The air choking me
Water threatening to surface behind my eyes
Anger heating its way up and through my body
Not even a chance a smile will cross this face
It's not jealousy
But a new wave of disbelief.
I'm trying to figure out who's the bigger fool,
Is it you or can it be me? 

Excerpt #7 and #8 -Short Story-- The Relished Touch

Happy Holidays Everyone!! Here are the next two installations. I hope you're all enjoying the progression of the story.

Links of Story (In order):

http://sleeplesscomposer.blogspot.com/2016/11/excerpt1-from-short-story-relished-touch.html

http://sleeplesscomposer.blogspot.com/2016/11/hey-so-im-day-late-it-seems.html

http://sleeplesscomposer.blogspot.com/2016/11/excerpt-3-and-4-short-story-relished.html

http://sleeplesscomposer.blogspot.com/2016/12/excerpt-5-and-6-short-story-relished.html

     

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            He has been living like a caged animal. Tied up, force fed and unable to speak. His drive to live had diminished. A spectacular shot to his vertebrae was all that was needed. Seeming like he was dead, he had laid there for hours; just bleeding and bleeding while the police took their time. He knew he was unimportant to them. He was finally swept away taken to his new home.

              For the long nine years David has wished to die. On several occasions, he should have. He has had heart attacks and multiple organ failures and every time the doctors revive him. He wished he could sign a DNR, he wants this nightmare to end. Man is not supposed to live unable to speak, or move. He cannot control who he meets or whom takes care of him. He cannot ask questions about the new world around him. He must remain ignorant.  He could never go find a companion; someone who shared the same interests as he did. Sure, he’s been in love many times- but everyone has. Let’s face it. Anytime people have a genuine connection to someone they fall in love a little bit. No one will ever admit it though.

              That was the main difference between David and everyone else. He lived in the now. He wasn’t afraid to seize the day. He didn’t confine himself to rules and restrictions. He was completely and utterly inhibited and instinctual, almost primal. He missed the old days where he could live freely. See a pretty girl, schmooze her up, give her a special drink and take her home. Ahh, those were the good ol’ days.

              Shelly, finished taking his blood pressure and lowered the guard rail on the bed. She noticed he was still restrained to the rail so she lifted it back up. She sighed in frustration. “What happened to you?” She knew his eyes were focused on her. She wracked her brain on all the possibilities. Why would they restrain someone who is completely immobile? What is the purpose? Does he have psychiatric history? Was he a violent patient? Is he a criminal? Was he suicidal? She wanted to ask but she found it in bad to taste to ask her mute patient to move his eyeballs to these questions. “I normally make it a point to know who my patients are Mr. Clark. Would you find it rude if I asked?” She asked. What harm could this do? Who’s he going to tell? She looked at David and he moved his eyeballs left to right twice suggesting ‘No, I don’t mind’.

“Were you in the psychiatric ward?” She probed.

David moved his eyeballs once. Yes

 “You were. Okay, Were you suicidal?”

He moved his eyeballs twice. No, dear. Never run from one’s troubles.

“Okay, that’s a good thing… Psychiatric ward. Psychiatric ward. Um, did you have a mental illness?”

No movement. What’s your definition of mental illness, love?

“Okay, I won’t ask that again. Touchy subject I suppose. Did you commit a crime?” She asked with worry.

David moved his eyes once. Yes, I did, love.

Shelly’s pupils dilated as her fear grew. “Robbery?” Her voice was growing smaller.

He moved his eyes twice. No.

She stood up and paced a bit. “I shouldn’t be asking. I’m sorry to intrude. All your meds have been dispensed. It’s time for your rotation. She picked up the remote at the side of the bed. Panic and worry spread across her face like it was the newest lipstick. Some male care givers came in helped her turn him over. She looked down and saw his piercing brown eyes burn right through her. He could sense she wanted to cry, scream, or hide from him- and he loved every minute of it. They began to wheel him out of the room. They wheeled him over to the elevator and awaited its opening. MRI time for Mr. David Clark. Shelly stopped asking questions, she must take care of her patient unabashedly, ignorance is bliss in her opinion. She need not to know more than what he has revealed. They reached the floor and wheeled him to the room with the MRI machine. The doctor was in there already waiting and prepping the area. The male nurses and Shelly transferred the patient, Mr. Clark, onto the MRI bed. The testing began.

I lay here each night with you in mind.
I lay here each night trying to not let the past burn me alive,
My memories scorch me in ways I never knew possible,
My memories taunt me in a new way that haunt my dreams.
Dreams that concoct their own reality of my very worst fears.
Dreams that should make this easier.
Dreams that make moving on impossible.
Dreams that make me see that even now, you're still all I see no matter how hard I try to face the reality.

Dreams are meant to be a world of escape
A world that releases you from your daily torment-
A world where, even for a little while,
You can be anywhere and do anything.
My dreams are not sweet escapes
Rather a world where the torment only follows
I bare the pain and betrayal in my consciousness
I face it in my sleep-
A place that's supposed to be nothing but sweet release,
Has become twisted and doomed.
How am I supposed to move on when you haunt my dreams with the very lies I've discovered?
I see the truth in my dreams,
I feel my heart ache for you,
Even in my dreams you're no longer mine.

The cool wind effortlessly moves about with whimsical delicacy.
Forcing the cascading leaves to dance through the air with beauty and grace.
The cool wind turns frigid,
Turning the cool breezes into sensations of frozen knives.
The dancing leaves no longer whimsical
Rather,
Panicked and fleeing from the inevitable seasons turn.
A once calm, vibrant, colorful forest,
Temporarily turned, dark, hallow, and harsh
Undoubtedly awaiting the next seasons turn.

She walked to the cliff's edge-
Crumbled to her knees.
She looked up to the moon,
With tears in her eyes-
She sucked in a sharp breath of cold air as she pleaded to the stars.

I need to stop being a bleeding heart-
A bleeding heart has never saved anyone-
..Only killed them.

Numbness is meant to mask everything
I wear mine as a shield.
I conquer my numbness with a smile,
With every slap to the face
I just stand up and smirk at the monsters in their face.
They try to break me,
Every monstrous thought-
Pulls painful breaths from me,
I shake my head and redirect my brain.
Still-
They linger on,
Taunting,
Twirling,
Trying to shatter me.
Finding painful tears,
I swallow those and force a smile.
What these monsters haven't learned is,
I've been hollowed out-
There's nothing left to break,
All the light left in my heart has been obliterated,
Turned to dust.
I've become numb and I rule the darkness.
So, I say to these monsters,
Bring it on,
Try to find something to break,
You're going to lose.

That limbo before you fall asleep-
But you're not quite awake,
Where you cease to exist for a moment,
Before you slip into the subconscious reality of your mind,
Yet, there's a deafening silence of the outside world around you,
You feel nothing,
You hear nothing,
You see nothing,
Dreams have not come yet
But consciousness slips you,
That's where I was when the phone rang,
For a moment I ceased to exist.