I have seen the Devil's face

I have seen the devil's face-
The gateway to the soul drenched in darkness-
All black-
Blacker than the soul that was there just before.
A darkness that grew larger and larger in its outward rage.
A hungry beast baring its teeth in its endeavor to quiver your very being-
Your soul
Your essence.
Ah, yes, I have seen the devil's face.
It stood before me telling me tales of becoming a satanist-
An atheist hell bent to tell thee God doesn't exist-
For where is the proof?
A soul drenched in darkness for all they have known is darkness.
An innocent soul that was violated and replaced with something much graver-
Much darker.
I have seen the devil's face.
Glimpses of an empty vessel-
No sign of any chance of a fullfilling life.
- Christina DeFelice 

Suspense Novel Preface

Recently, I've been writing my suspense novel more and more. It's been quite exciting. Here's how I chose to start off my story! I'm very much in love with the preface. I actually love writing them the most; I love throwing everyone right into the action and keeping it vague! =) Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Preface

“NOOO!” She shrieked as she shoved him off her. He stumbled backwards and knocked himself into a table. The lamp fell shattering.  Her face soaked with tears. She ran through the dimly lit halls. She shrieked out again in pain, glass lodged in her foot. She stopped briefly, panting, and pulled the shard of glass out of her foot and continued forward leaving a trail of blood behind her.

Behind her, he stumbled up to his feet and ran after her. She pushed through her pain and ran forward to the door. She turned the knob, jiggled it, it wouldn’t budge. “NOO!” Her shaky hands undid the locks as he plummeted for her. She was able to kick her foot backwards, hitting him in his appendage dropping him to the ground.

It was like a dream, she opened the door and there before her, a rush of freezing air and the ground cascaded with mounds of snow. How long had she been here? She put one foot in front of the other and ran hard, she ran fast. He ran after her, he ran harder, he ran faster. He threw his arms around her, tightly. “HELP!” A foreboding shriek ripped through her like an electrifying volt. Her screams echoed through the cold air. The cold wintery night held her screams like a well-kept secret. The dimly lit house erupted in the night. He dragged her back into the house, slamming the door shut as her screams bellowed into the cold, rural, darkness.

Cookies

This is one of my new favorites. It made me laugh. That senseless dream was of dinosuars. I think I was being hunted by a T-Rex.

Just know when you're dead asleep in the night,
Having a senseless dream of a land of make believe
When you wake up with that sharp pain in your stomach,
Pain that let's you know to trust your gut,
Just know it's becuase...

You ate too many cookies.

You don't understand
A way of life that is hard to navigate.
You don't understand
What it means to tip-toe in all aspects.
You don't understand how to navigate the life I've been dealt.
It's easy to talk when you don't suffer the same complications.
It's easy to talk when life hasn't thrown these obstacles at you.
I'll smile and nod along.
I let you talk.
But-
You don't understand what it is to be me.

This poem came about because a friend read my stardust poem and thought I wrote starburst. As a challenge to myself, I wanted to write something pertaining to starburst as a metaphor if you will.

As we walk through life, we come across many kinds of people.
We come across many kinds of cultures.
The beauty, love and traditions are the colors of life,
And the people are the flavors,
Just like starburts,
We're all beautiful and unique
With something special to share with all.

Because of you

I think of the times we would sit by the beach and talk.
I think of the times we would hold one another close.
The shared passion and endless smiles. The joy and love that felt like home. You were a person I never thought I'd find. You were the love of my life and I was done. I was done searching, I was so happy, so content. I felt like the luckiest girl to have the best love of all. But it was all a mirage, a dark twisted lie. You gave your love away like lollipops. You treated my love like  a replaceable battery. I miss you, admittedly and I don't know why. I still can't believe how deeply you've wounded me. How deeply your betrayal has affected me. Because of you I'm afraid to let anyone in. Because of you, I'm afraid to share my thoughts and feelings. Because of you, I no longer trust myself.

Do you know what it's like to lie awake at night?
Unable to do something that is so natural to us.
Lying in the dark as your mind swirls,
Having a night of self-reflection doesn't bode well for a tired body-
A tired mind.
Worrying over frivoulous matters,
Worrying over things that matter,
Worrying over everything.
Yet, in the same breath, you could care less.
Lack of sleep can do that to you,
Alter you rmind,
Turn it against you,
Making you your own worst enemy.

Sleepless World

Heavy eyes,
Going through each day with forced smiles,
Forced energy.
A sleepless world-
Swirling around a drain,
Going with the motion of the tide,
Fighting the current-
Ending up with even heavier eyes and a maladjusted mind.

You are Light

You have a lightness that surrounds you.
Your very aura emanates positivity, calm and pur sunlight.
Someone who is hard on themselves yet will never admit it.
Someone who cares deeply but doesn't know how to share it.
You're a beautiful soul, through and through.

We are Stardust

We are all made of stardust.
Molded from the universe itself,
Shaped and formed from the same matter of the moon and the stars.
The beauty we see within space is a beauty within us all.
We mustn't ever forget that.
We must listen to nature and appreciate all the beauty that is around.

The eyes I look through are tainted.
Tainted by all the lies and deceit.
Tainted by all the chaos that ensues all around.
Sure, we're all alive
But are any of us truly living?
Bobbing and weaving the muck of agony.
Bobbing and weaving the seas of disappointment,
Hoping not to drown in the despair of what we call life. 

Having that internal battle of what you know is best vs what you think you want.
Having those thoughts that bounce back and forth like a ping pong ball.
Questioning the fairness of life,
Questioning all of life's logic,
Questioning the now.
Will things ever work out the way I'd like, just once?
Circling these thoughts and shoving them into a box.
The box of the unknown.
The box of repression.
Forget all the sourness of life.
Powering through and moving forward.
For if I don't-
Then the unpleasant beast will skulk around,
The beast that is fed by over thinking.
The beast that beats down any semblance of self.
Shove the thoughts back in the box.
Lock it up nice and tight.
Now, lay your head down to rest. 

The creative lake in which I dip my feet is empty.
No muse or inspiration,
Life is trying to ground me,
Making room growth,
Trying to recenter oneself and seek peace.
Separation from others is vital,
Recharge,
All creative spark stripped away by burdens of life,
Stressors of life,
Realizing I'm too real for the real world.
People ask for truth, but that's not what they seek,
People want to stroke their ego instead of finding peace.

Sometimes all it takes is seeing something.
Something real and right in front of you in order to believe it.
You can no longer lie to yourself.
You can no longer pretend that you were something special.
That you were the difference a person needed.
The fact just walked through the door and paraded around in your face.
A harsh lesson of just because someone is special to you doesn't mean you're special to them.
Yet, you wait for the parade to end.
Like a hopeless fool.

I'm told I'm too young to not want to see anyone.
Too young to want to be alone.
Too young to dislike people and social gatherings.
But-
I was too young when the disappointment began,
I was too young to be hurt the way I was.
I was too young, too trusting,
I was betrayed by all, left alone
The rest, I let go.
No longer do I trust,
No longer will I try to make small talk
Or put in the extra effort.
You either show me you care
Or I walk.
It's a simple thing many fail to realize.

This was a moment's flutter.
Thinking of you brought the flutter of oddity to my attention.
A flutter that told me of my disappointment.
A flutter that reminded me,
You cannot break what's already broken.
A flutter that reminds me that I need to be more cautious with what's not broken.
A faint reminder of what it meant to ache.

How is it you came to be,
So involved,
So "in love",
So bound together?
How can you tolerate being beckoned fo rhis every whim?
Why do you allow it?
From what I know of you both there are no similarites in character.
What makes you stay together?
From a perspecrive of someone who's tried and failed,
I'm curious as to how yours works,
It seems almost like an abomination,
Destruction of what women have worked for,
She does nothing for herself here, at home, where she lives,
Yet, he asks and you run.
Why is that?
How does that happen?

Memories that haunt.
Memories that taunt.
If only it were as simple as one, two, three
Poof, they're gone.
Nope, it's still there.
Running ramped-
Showing me things I wish I could forget.

If I were honest I'd tell you I'm afraid.
Afraid of you and the possibilities,
Afraid if I open up and share that everything will disappear.
My track record is proof of that.
Am I too real for people?
I'm not a carefree soul who has yet to be tarnished and broken down.
I've been down before,
More times than I'd care to count,
My soul has weeped,
Mind stretched too thin,
Nerves have been frayed to their last strand.
If I bare all of that- why would you stay?
I'm too young to be this tarnished,
Like a polished, vintage chair-
People say it adds character
I say it's delicate, that if you sit in it, it'll break.
It used to be as strong as the mighty oak, able to carry everything it held,
but- no longer, as anything that becomes antique you must care for it properly or watch it, slowly, but surely, wither away.
If I were honest, you'd discover that there's a lot of history my smiles have chosen to hide.

Look at the beauty of the world,
Not through tainted perspectives of persons encountered-
Rather through the eyes of sheer existence.
Look at the moving trees that cascade down its beautiful leaves on a fall day.
Look upon the avenues of quiet buildings that hold precious families fast asleep.
Look at the bulidings and skylines around you,
Realize that, intellectual design is amongst you as you are consumed in it
Look at the beauty of the world and see that the artful mind, craftful hands, and natural anomalies are forever present.