Thank you,
Thank you for constantly leaving,
Thank you for never keeping your word.
Thank you for showing me the monster you can become.
Thank you for forcing me into a place of pure uncomfortability.
Thank you for wasting my time.
And lastly,
Thank you for forcing me to move on and grow up.
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Lies I tell myself pt. 2
My heart no longer breaks.
The pain is becoming so regular that I don't even notice how it aches.
An ache that feels as though my heart is swelling with joy and is being squished and drained of all elated emotion.
My heart no longer breaks because you have obliterated everything that was left.
The pieces that remain still love you.
They will always hold you dear.
But you, you broke my trust along with any and all hope for the future we planned.
Unless, you're willing to fight and finally choose me, this cannot be saved.
My heart no longer breaks,
Because you have broken everything decent that was left of me.
The pain is becoming so regular that I don't even notice how it aches.
An ache that feels as though my heart is swelling with joy and is being squished and drained of all elated emotion.
My heart no longer breaks because you have obliterated everything that was left.
The pieces that remain still love you.
They will always hold you dear.
But you, you broke my trust along with any and all hope for the future we planned.
Unless, you're willing to fight and finally choose me, this cannot be saved.
My heart no longer breaks,
Because you have broken everything decent that was left of me.
Lies I tell myself pt. 1
All the while I curse the Gods for bestowing heartache.
All the while I wonder why they have led me back to my dream.
All the while I effortlessly give my love and trust away
Taking too long to realize-
They have bestowed a gift upon me.
A gift I've long prayed for.
They have not given you to me for us to rebuild.
They have given me clarity I once sought after.
They have given me a chance to see that although I love with everything I am, that you in fact are not the future in which I embark on.
They have given me closure.
All the while I wonder why they have led me back to my dream.
All the while I effortlessly give my love and trust away
Taking too long to realize-
They have bestowed a gift upon me.
A gift I've long prayed for.
They have not given you to me for us to rebuild.
They have given me clarity I once sought after.
They have given me a chance to see that although I love with everything I am, that you in fact are not the future in which I embark on.
They have given me closure.
The truth I hold inside
If all I have is the memory of you then I'm not sure I want it.
I can still feel the excitement of you walking into the kitchen and grabbing my face to kiss me.
Nothing extraordinary about that moment other than a moment of pure undiluted love.
I can still feel the butterflies I get every time you looked at me in that way that you do and how your voice sounds when you tell me you love me.
I can still feel the abrupt nervousness I would get when you spoke about marriage and children.
Oh, how I wanted that life.
I can still see that adorable look you gave me when you hurt your arm and I was taking care of you.
I can feel the absence of you like I'm missing a limb.
I can feel the pain of missing you in every molecule of my being.
You're forever etched into my brain that no amount of shaking will erase.
If all I have is the memory of the grandest love and the grandest loss, then what was it all for?
Am I sorely mistaken on what's transpired?
If so, please come correct me because...
If all I have is the memory of you then I'm not sure I want it.
I can still feel the excitement of you walking into the kitchen and grabbing my face to kiss me.
Nothing extraordinary about that moment other than a moment of pure undiluted love.
I can still feel the butterflies I get every time you looked at me in that way that you do and how your voice sounds when you tell me you love me.
I can still feel the abrupt nervousness I would get when you spoke about marriage and children.
Oh, how I wanted that life.
I can still see that adorable look you gave me when you hurt your arm and I was taking care of you.
I can feel the absence of you like I'm missing a limb.
I can feel the pain of missing you in every molecule of my being.
You're forever etched into my brain that no amount of shaking will erase.
If all I have is the memory of the grandest love and the grandest loss, then what was it all for?
Am I sorely mistaken on what's transpired?
If so, please come correct me because...
If all I have is the memory of you then I'm not sure I want it.
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